POEM: ‘We’ve Got It’

I’m in love with a girl
It’s not an illusion or chasing my tail.
She’s real and she’s beautiful.
Makes me catch my breath and smile
We work together
Piece A and piece B makes a whole.
Alone I’m okay but missing something
Texting ‘Aloha!’ makes me smile.
It doesn’t have to end like Salinger
We can be together
From the docks to the beach
We work like buoys pointing the way.
She’s a model of perfection
Not a plastic inch
A real thing, a whole
The only thing I want.
I wake thinking of her
Drift slowly till I get a text
Then I dance like a munchkin.
She doesn’t think I’m silly
We’re the greatest couple.

POEM: ‘The Devil’s In The Details’

The untuned scream of a violin
A piano uncovered in a dead girl’s room.
Rusted metronome is still
A drum monotonous by the tomb.

No angels here – abandon hope
Gain fake calm from your holy book.
Better off with Dr Seuss
Your god stole the last breath she took.

Throw some dirt on the wooden box
No comfort out here, driving rain.
Can’t give her back her beating heart
Or take away the boyfriend’s pain.

Voice behind the catafalque
Say’s she’s being well looked after.
I hear a voice, beyond the grave?
(I realise it’s my bitter laughter).

POEM: ‘4 Joan’

I remember the beginning of summer
Thinking of my time away
Up to Swindon with my nan
I waited for the day.

We drove up in the family car
I kept asking “how far? how far?”
I was excited and saying “Yay!”
Until we pulled into 579’s driveway.

I got the hug I wanted
Me and Shu went inside excited
We sat down for a roast
The best, no need to boast!

I slept in the little room
No time for gloom
Smurfs up the stairs and down
I waited till we went to town.

Tuesday – green tokens on the bus
Just Joan Mc and me – Us.
Looking at all the things
So happy I could sing.

I took her to the toys
She loved it, looked with joy.
I talked about Star Wars
And she said “Excellent”, me “Cor!”.

We played Nintendo and she laughed
“Oh Kendall my dear, you are daft!”
I grabbed her arm and off we’d go
To the next cinema show.

Afterwards we went for food
She said “I loved it, just like you”
Hand in hand without a fuss
We went back laughing on the bus.

Dinner and then time, of course
To get out the Deluxe Scrabble board.
She’d beat me with a 50 word
Shrugging like nothing had occurred.

The morning I woke as happy as can be
Orange plastic cup, coffee.
I walked down the street
To get some milk or maybe meat.

Night time, my walkman, music to my ears
Nanny comes up “You alright dear?”
I always was, never moaned
Goodbye our precious, love you Joan.

Now you’re gone too
Another chum
Say hi to our brilliant dad
And your daughter, our mom.

I hope you all have fun
And look after everyone.
Whilst down here we all get older
We’ll feel you all there on our shoulder.

May everyone stand up proud
And say “We love you”, scream it loud.
Not everyone deserves the praise
But Joan does, the roof we raise.

We dance for you and shout “Hooray!”
No need for sadness, not today.
One of Earth’s gentlest souls
Is lifted to life’s greater goals.

I’ll walk out with my head held high
Not thinking that someone has died
But thinking of the girl who lived
And everything our Nan did give.

I still miss your cheese and pickle
And your welcome hug and tickle.
You’ll always be here for me
And for all these people you can see.

No sadness here, just memories,
For kids, grandkids, oh for plenty.
Many thanks and love is due.
Joan McDonald, we love you.
We love you.

POEM: ‘Quick-Time Romance’

Alone, looking at the stars
Thinking of a girl
Playing her tunes
Ticking down the clock till you can be together.
Phone buzzes
It’s her
Your heart flips
She wonders if she’s good enough
You wonder if you’re good enough.
Two lost souls make one
Hands clasp together
Let’s go to the park…
Sun shines down on you both
Spinning in a private orbit
No sound
No vision
Just two hearts beating
Quick-time romance.

POEM: ‘Glossolalia’

Tears running down my face
Like little cars fuelled by misery.
Asphyxiate anxiety
Water to blood in my hands.
Fucked virgin canvas
Too many characters
Too many characters
A sanguine Salinger
Tragedy made flesh
Peel it off and sell a million.

Laying lifeless, coagulated
Toss and turn for hours
Finally finding comfort in the shape of a perfect swastika
Naughty little Jew
Taking comfort over history.
Keeping an eye open for new knives in the back
Unfettered vendettas and vitriolic vampires
Sucking the life out of me
Sucking the me out of life.

‘Marquee Moon’
The music is cutting edge.
Cutting.
On edge.
I may see no evil but I feel it in the air
An atmosphere of dour despair.
In my mind’s eye
The hourglass is almost out of sand
I’m running out of breath
There’s no time to feel sorry anymore.
One more thought for the Pauper’s Grave –
Without love, life is meaningless motion.
Emergency stop.