We live in a world where Viola Beach are about to have a number one record, by the single not very impressive virtue of being dead. I’m not saying that wasn’t a tragedy for those that knew and loved them, but really if they still existed, they would be playing fourth on the bill down at the Pig And Pisshole, singing songs that they think are original because they don’t realise that anyone else in the world has ever heard the first Stone Roses and Vampire Weekend albums. And they couldn’t dress for shit. Who can save us from the Next Small Thing? What the world needs now is…WHITE APE. A garage stomp with the sarcasm of the best but matching that hatred with big massive TUNES.
When the first thing I hear from a band begins “If I were a woman I’d be Courtney Love, killing teenagers with a razorglove”, well they had me at hello, hello, hello. Add to this the brilliant couplet “I know you’re rich and you know you’re handsome, you write a good tune but so could Charles Manson.” and I’m already scrawling their lyrics on anything I can find. I might even buy some new trainers JUST TO WRITE LYRICS ON. White Ape are this sort of band. Clever, celebratory, everything that the black and white world of alternative British music needs to stop it falling into a cesspool of nothingness and nobodies.
And did I also mention that Courtney Love Will Tear Us Apart is a fucking great title? I did? Good. Get on it.